another one..

i know!

so i just got off the phone with an old friend that i don't talk to enough anymore. and that is horseshit ( which is like bullshit, with an upgrade ). i don't understand how i can let that happen, but i love that when time passes, we can pick back up without skipping a beat...and i do take some comfort in that - safe travels tiny one - i love you and your huge knob.

so in just a few days i turn 40. and guess what? i'm all afuckinbout it - 30 freaked me out and i was not all that pleased to see that number - 40? i can't wait. i feel like i finally KNOW who i am, what i like, what i don't, what i'll put up with, and won't. what's important - and what can be cast aside.

and it's some empowering shit.

i still wonder "i wonder what (whoever) thinks about ( me, the situation, my decision, whatever ) but it's not a deciding factor.

i hate that i waited until i was 40 to come to this - but thrilled that i got it at all.

so i guess it's natural to be in a sorta reflective place- and the good reflective place - not the one full of self doubt and hatred. and it's fair to say i'm in it. kinda rolling around and marking my territory with it -and it's great.

so, with that - i'm beginning my 39th year in review.

so in my 39th year,

1.i continued working in a career i LOVE. if you're not doing what you love for your work right now...start making steps to change that. life is short - like really REALLY fuckin' short - and goes by fast - if you're having fun or not - so have some frekin' fun.
2.i got ok with a word, that contrary to popular belief, i'm not good at. the magical word 'no' without using qualifiers, rationalizing, or apologies. just as easy to say as yes, and really much for effective.
3. i showed up everyday
4. i had my heart broken - wait, not broken - bruised. i refuse to submit to broken
5. i told my friends i love them everyday - and they love me too. ( can't beat that )


and a gillion other things i'm sure.

my 40th year will have all these plus one MAJOR addition.

more sex.

much more sex.

seriously, more sex